Archive for September, 2007

Aussie Mom’s are very loving mothers, particularly when their kids are obese and about to be thrown from carnival rides.   Maybe it’s just a case of hard love and ‘building character’ when they strap their 300 lb. child into the seat, disregard the screams of horror, and laugh hysterically at the kid hanging precariously from the ride…  




vick_field.jpgreefer_madness.jpg

Michael Vick may have cost himself another season on the field by violating rules of his recent arrest by testing positive for marijuana:

The disgraced Atlanta Falcons quarterback tested positive for marijuana earlier this month, a violation of the conditions of his release as he awaits sentencing in federal court on a dogfighting charge that already jeopardizes his freedom and career.

Now he’s incurred the ire of the judge who could sentence him to up to five years in prison in the dogfighting case. On the day of Vick’s guilty plea, U.S. District Judge Henry Hudson warned that he wouldn’t be amused by any additional trouble.  [LINK TO STORY]

Come on.  Can the Man give a brother a break?  Dude is unemployed, chillin’ at the pad on a Friday night.   What the hell.  Jeez.  You already took away his murdering/mutilating/electrocuting dogs vice . 

I remember the time when I got caught throwing cats in our dryer when I was eight-years-old.  Was it wrong?  Absolutely.   Sure, I got grounded.   But at least my Mom let me continue to innocently roll spliffs in the backyard and peddle them to the neighborhood kids.




In wild, hairy, excrement news….Tiger Woods is a homosapien too!   Yes, the man takes shits like the rest of us.   Crazy, I know.   And I thought he just released waste via osmosis or something.   Or maybe his caddy was involved with the transfer.  Hmmm.  Consider me enlightened.




skinny_bonds.jpg gorilla.gif

In a revelation of epic proportions to which I’ve never seen – well, maybe not as big as the guy with chocolate bumping into the guy with peanut butter and coming up with that tasty cup – there is scientific proof that taking steroids makes baseballs fly further.  I know….I’m in a shock tremor too.

Depending on the ball’s trajectory, this added speed could take it into home run territory 50 percent more often, said Roger Tobin of Tufts University in Boston

Calculations show that, by putting on 10 percent more muscle mass, a batter can swing about 5 percent faster, increasing the ball’s speed by 4 percent as it leaves the bat.

“A 4 percent increase in ball speed, which can reasonably be expected from steroid use, can increase home run production by anywhere from 50 percent to 100 percent,” said Tobin, whose study will be published in an upcoming issue of the American Journal of Physics.   [Story]

In an unrelated story, swallowing straight chicken fat can cause a 5% fat gain in 99% of humans.   An MIT physicist rounded up 100 normal humans and had them ingest chicken fat for 4 weeks straight.    Amazingly, only one person did not gain any fat.   He was bulimic and his name was Sara, but the study still stands!




dingleberry.jpg




 yasisland.jpg camels.jpg

In the “we’ve got so much f’n money I shit Benny Franklins” world of sports one-upmanship, the United Arab Emirates is in the process of building a Mecca for formula one racing.   They’re investing $40 billion to build a race course that they’ve set out to rival Monaco’s Grand Prix.

“We will not only meet expectations, but exceed them without a doubt,” said Ahmad Hussain, deputy director general of Abu Dhabi’s Tourism Authority.

Construction began in January on the 6,300-acre site off the UAE’s east coast, and only 5 percent of the 3.4-mile track is complete. It is expected to seat 200,000 spectators.

“It’s going to be the most thrilling circuit in the championship,” said Ron Barrott, chief executive of the state-owned Aldar Property Development Company, which is building the track. “There will be authentic Arab flair everywhere that will leave the spectators in no doubt that they are in Abu Dhabi.”

The Yas Island circuit was designed by Hermann Tilke, a German who chose to split the course into 1.5 miles of street racing and 1.9 miles of dedicated racetrack.  [SOURCE

The only draw back to the new course and venue are the three sheep crossings.  Drivers must yield to the herds or be subject to a $500 fine and/or castration, depending on the magistrate.