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Wed 11.12.08

Jim Carrey really handled his comedy back in the mid-to-late 90’s. A classic that is worth a 21st century look-see is this basketball scene from the movie Cable Guy. You’ll notice Jack Black – before he made it big – as the extra getting dunked on by Carrey. Mind you, I use the word big loosely.

Not sure what is more embarrassing for Black. This scene or that monstrosity of collage of a riddle wrapped inside an enigma disguised as a blockbuster movie called King Kong. You know what…we should call that duel a draw. Let’s just rack Tenacious D alongside Envy as the cinematic horrors/embarrassments of the new century and wish I never mentioned any of this.

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PRACTICE? TALKIN’ ‘BOUT MORE PRACTICE?

Fri 11.07.08

The recently traded Allen Iverson had is second favorite topic come up at the press conference introducing him as a new Detroit Piston — practice?! Check out the YouTube above. Oh, what’s the biggie about practice?! Check out the YouTube HERE. Oh, AND Iverson’s first favorite topic? You’ll have to see HERE. But, shhhhhh! It’s kinda of secret I share with Allen….so, please….let’s keep it on the DL.

(1) Comment | Read more about: Allen Iverson, MuleTastic Links

SEPARATED AT BIRTH

Fri 11.07.08

Paris Hilton and other creatures that spread their legs a lot.

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GLACIER SURFING

Sun 11.02.08

Yeah! Global Warming rules! Cow-a-bunga!

In addition to rising sea-levels and surfing off the coast of St. Louis in 2050, surfers have Alaskan glacial swells to look forward to in the interim. I’m stoked. Can’t wait to paddle out in 35 degree water, in a rubber cocoon of a wetsuit, so I can eat shit and crack my head on ice…

(0) Comments | Read more about: Surfing, MuleTastic Links

SAMMY SOSA HANGS UP CLEATS FOR ABACUS?

Fri 10.31.08

The president of the Dominican Republic recently announced that he would be taking drastic measures to attract foreign investments to his Caribbean country. In addition to putting the entire $300 million GDP into a three-month CD — ok, maaayyybe not — he has appointed major league baseball’s Sammy Sosa as the country’s ambassador of foreign investment.

Sosa, who has said he plans to announce his retirement from baseball soon, will be responsible for attracting U.S. investors to the Caribbean country for project development.

“I am very proud of this designation,” Sosa told The Associated Press by e-mail on Wednesday. “I hope to contribute greatly.” [STORY]

Rumors are swirling that in addition to Sosa’s role as an investment liaison for the Dominican, he will be opening a chain of bakeries on the impoverished island. At a press conference, Sosa reasoned, “I love my country. And I love donuts. I used to love beisbol. But beisbol not so good to me lately. But donuts always be good to me.” Reporters then responded in unison with a resounding, “WTF!!”

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Japanese. Weird White Dude. Coconuts Crushed. Awesome.

Fri 10.10.08

I’m a big fan of the coconut. Sprinkle that shaved shit over ice cream and I’m in heaven. Now, mix coconuts in with Japanese television and weird white dudes and I’m in hog-heaven. If you cut to the 3:37 mark of the video above you get to the Guinness Book of World Record performance for crushing coconuts with your fist. Cut to the 0:01 mark of the video above and you get a glimpse of the absurdity/brilliance of Japanese television. Bless dem buggers.