“Megan courageously prepares to enter the world’s largest vagina…God speed”
God I love how I titled this story! Smart I be.
The tantalizing sexy Megan Fox admitted to GQ that she went through a period in her life where she had a lesbian affair. Not only that — hold on to your fruit-of-the-loom briefs – but it was with a Sunset strip stripper (say that ten times fast).
“Well, that year my boyfriend broke up with me, and I decided—oh man; sorry, Mommy!—that I was in love with this girl that worked at the Body Shop [a strip club on Sunset Boulevard]. I decided that I was going to get her to love me back, and I went out of my way to create a relationship with this girl, a stripper named Nikita. I was there all the time—I would go there by myself. I bought her things—perfume, body spray, girlie stuff. I turned into a weird middle-aged married man. I felt like I had this need to save Nikita. I’d get lap dances so I could get to know her, and I’d give her what I thought were great little sound bites of inspiration—like You can do it, you’re better than this! I didn’t want her to be there.” [link]
And then….you ‘pulled her pants down and went to town’, right?Jesus…”sound bites of inspiration”?! That’s it?! I had my pants down around my shoes at “perfume, body spray, girlie stuff”…and then you throw out Dr. Phil on me?! I’m such a sucker for an ill-fated lesbian story.
Victoria Beckham, wife of the somewhat gender-ly challenged David Beckham, has been having success with her clothing label dVb by using her husband as a living promotional manneqin. She’s making strides in marketing her gear to men, with the help of Davy, his star-power, and his tolerance for playing dress-up. Victoria shares this with us via People.com,
“In just under two years dVb has grown from a passionate idea into collections which are stocked in top stores around the world – something I only used to dream of.”
Fueling her dream – as her label leaps the gender gap – is her spouse. “The label grows as I do,” she writes. “Along with women’s denim the dVb mens collection has just launched, and who better than David to be my muse!” [Link]
Careful, Davey. You’re in dangerous territory here. I’d watch my back. Literally. You’re about a step-in-a-half away from waking up one-night with Vicky standing over you with a 12-inch strap-on screaming, “Call me Tommy Cruise! Bitch! Call me Tommy Cruise! And wear my jeans, Bitch!”…but wait, is this all part of your master-plan (see HERE or HERE)?
When it comes to officiating in big-time American sport…being disenchanted, nauseated, and sodomized (serious…ok…a different story) is the norm for the public engaged in the sport at hand…who inevitably continue to deal with some stupid-ass rule interpretations (ok…push play above).
Never mind the human instinct to do “what’s right is right!” and being able to make decisions based on intellect, nizzards (balls), and…um…being on your feet?! Robots abound…making high-level non-decisions/stupid interpretations in situations that impact the sports-books, the financial statements of big time programs, and my nerve. It happens ALLLLLL THHHHEE TIMMME. When referees make a decision based on the “rule” vs. the spirit of the rule it astounds me! Unreal.
And, for the record, this isn’t a rant coming from the northwest and on behalf of Washington…just someone who sees a wrong. Crazy!!
Usher has announced that he will peforming 15 shows for ‘women only’ in intimate venues to play up the theme of his ”One Night Stand” concerts. People.com is reporting,
“This album … was definitely the type of one that was more intimate,” the entertainer says of his most recent recording, Here I Stand. “So what better way to get up close and personal than to make it all women?”
And what should female fans expect? “The ladies like to see that masculine build,” he told the AP. “They question if I still got it.” [LINK]
Frankly, I think this is a big mistake and could back-fire miserably for Usher. Performing for women only can be really rough. Back in 2006, when I was going through some “rough times”, I did my own “women only” performance when I came out from behind a curtain at Curves and performed my rendition of Free Willy. Needless to say, it didn’t go over well. I guess, at the time, I thought my penis looked a bit like a killer whale…Did I mention I went through some rough times?
I’m not sure what is lamer. A direct challenge to USC’s college football dominance in So. Cal. after years of doormat lickin’…promoting college football with my lil’ buddy Gilligan in a UCLA cap…or spending university advertising $$’s on a full-page ad such as this one. Ricky (Neuheisel) please.
Ronny Turiaf is no longer a Laker. Yep. I said it. Weird? Get over it.
I know. Life may not go on as we know it. Trust me. I definitely feel it.
”There are emotional ties with Ronny that go beyond basketball,” Lakers general manager Mitch Kupchak said on a conference call. “I think that makes it difficult. I think organizations that draft players who turn out to be good players, it’s hard for them to let go of those players. And if you know Ronny, you know he’s a special kid.” [Story]
So there it is. Blah, blah, blah, blah.
Just so you know, I just took a butter knife and cut out my Dad’s heart. Weird, you say? Nah. It’s a family tradition just started by the Lakers.
