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Archive for April, 2008

Tue 4.29.08

…well, maybe not naked…but I’m still traumatized, nonetheless. What’s next…Pat Summitt in a two-piece bikini vacationing down in Florida? (Ed. note - Ewwww….that’s just plain wrong…I’m a bit of a sadist…sorry Mom).

Either way, John Daly shirtless – undoubtedly drunk — sure doesn’t help keep that acid reflux at bay.

(1) Comment | Read more about: Pat Summitt, John Daly

KINKY FRENCH RACING PRESIDENT MAX MOSLEY SHOULD RESIGN?

Tue 4.29.08

Max Mosley, President of the International Automobile Federation (FIA), is under pressure to resign his post following the sex scandal for his part in a Nazi-style sado-masochistic sex orgy with five prostitutes. Details HERE and in the video above.

Personally, I think any publicity is good publicity. So the guy has his kinky faults, likes his ass spanked, and enjoys being portrayed with the most infamous regime of all-time. God bless him. What the hell is wrong being a 68 year-old executive trying to advance his sport in creative, outside-the-box ways? You guys have all seen that Bud Selig seal clubbing video, right? And look what it did for baseball. I rest my case.

(0) Comments | Read more about: Max Mosley

KICKBOXING TEACHES KIDS DISCIPLINE

Tue 4.22.08

Kids need a little discipline in their lives….so, what better way than to put them in the ring without head gear to get bludgeoned. The photos depicted here are of innocent British kids forced to pound away on each other at “Baby Fight Clubs”.

In the strictly governed world of conventional boxing youngsters must be at least 11 to compete.

But in MuayThai boxing there is no such limit. There is also no requirement for protective headgear, despite regular blows to the skull.

Parents have to sign a disclaimer before a fight, relieving promoters of any blame should their children be injured as they compete - sometimes in front of paying adult audiences. [link]

Oh well….what the heck….in-bred Brits really can’t do further cranial damage beyond the havoc that’s been wreaked on themselves….isolated on that bastard island (see how they butchered this thing HERE). You’ve seen Prince Charles, right? That dude could have used a few chromosome correcting blows to the head back-in-the-day. I can’t imagine a more f*cked mug than that.

Well…..maybe this one HERE.

(4) Comments | Read more about: English Retards, Baby Fight Clubs

ERYKAH BADU IS INSANE

Thu 4.17.08

Erykah Badu is spitting some serious career advice here! Pre-teen girls listen up! Especially on Wednesday’s back in 2006 (?)….get that scalp removed!

Damn…she’s got me so fired up I just called Dr. Wang for that penile enlargement procedure I’ve been putting off. I know, I know….there really isn’t much difference between eight and ten inches, but it’s a personal thing. Sorry if I have some self-esteem issues.

(1) Comment | Read more about: Erykah Badu

JENNA IS SOFTENING-UP TITO TO PLAY IN HOLLYWOOD

Thu 4.17.08

Porn legend Jenna Jameson may have a softening impact (did I just say that?) on boyfriend, UFC star, and Celebrity Apprentice dingbat Tito Ortiz. Ortiz’s UFC career will be ending with his next fight and he is apparently enthralled with the glitz of Hollywood. This from Page Six:

”He has Hollywood aspirations now,” sniffed one friend. Not that his ennui has gone unnoticed. Ortiz is fighting Lyoto Machida in Las Vegas on May 24 - which will be his last fight. “His contract will not be renewed,” said a source. A rep for the UFC declined comment. [link]

Yeah. I noticed his ennui awhile ago. I’m surprised it took so long for everyone else to notice his ennui, dating that skank and all. Frankly, it’s disheartening that sports media hadn’t noticed his ennui earlier. I mean, when I got my ennui, incessant crotch itch, projectile fire shots from my penis, panic sprints to the bathroom, and round-the-clock antibiotics took out my summer of ‘01. Damn ennui.

P.S. - Having ennui means THIS right? Oh….my bad….I just wikipediaed it and apparently it means THIS. Oops.

(2) Comments | Read more about: Tito Ortiz, Jenna Jameson

DALE EARNHARDT JR. DRIVEN TO BOOZE

Wed 4.16.08

Dale Earnhardt Jr. has taken his celeb and cash to the bar. No…not to booze it up and play dumb jock like Melo….but to make more cash and cash-in on his penchant for barkeepin’….

“There’s a stigma about how drivers can’t do anything,” Earnhardt said. “They have to focus, and this, that and the other. Anytime you do anything or want to do anything or talk about anything, people want to question your focus or whatever.”

It was probably inevitable Earnhardt would open a bar. There were all those stories of Club E, the homemade bar in the basement of his house as he was breaking into NASCAR’s top circuit. One of Earnhardt’s close friends, J.R. Rhodes, was once a bartender in Daytona. They had talked about opening a bar for years, and Whisky River became a reality this month. [link]

I love it! Why not cash-in on your alcoholism and all the knuckleheads that suck-off you anyway. I hear the bar is an exact replica of DEJ’s basement…there’s a water heater, washer and dryer, and a holding pen for those reluctant post-roofie dates. Oh….wait….wrong basement….I just had flashbacks of my college fraternity. Damn. Those were the days!