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Archive for October, 2008

Fri 10.31.08

The president of the Dominican Republic recently announced that he would be taking drastic measures to attract foreign investments to his Caribbean country. In addition to putting the entire $300 million GDP into a three-month CD — ok, maaayyybe not — he has appointed major league baseball’s Sammy Sosa as the country’s ambassador of foreign investment.

Sosa, who has said he plans to announce his retirement from baseball soon, will be responsible for attracting U.S. investors to the Caribbean country for project development.

“I am very proud of this designation,” Sosa told The Associated Press by e-mail on Wednesday. “I hope to contribute greatly.” [STORY]

Rumors are swirling that in addition to Sosa’s role as an investment liaison for the Dominican, he will be opening a chain of bakeries on the impoverished island. At a press conference, Sosa reasoned, “I love my country. And I love donuts. I used to love beisbol. But beisbol not so good to me lately. But donuts always be good to me.” Reporters then responded in unison with a resounding, “WTF!!”

(1) Comment | Read more about: Sammy Sosa

Japanese. Weird White Dude. Coconuts Crushed. Awesome.

Fri 10.10.08

I’m a big fan of the coconut. Sprinkle that shaved shit over ice cream and I’m in heaven. Now, mix coconuts in with Japanese television and weird white dudes and I’m in hog-heaven. If you cut to the 3:37 mark of the video above you get to the Guinness Book of World Record performance for crushing coconuts with your fist. Cut to the 0:01 mark of the video above and you get a glimpse of the absurdity/brilliance of Japanese television. Bless dem buggers.

(4) Comments | Read more about: Japanese Fun, MuleTastic Links

HOOPSTER SARAH PALIN WAS A BARRACUDA

Thu 10.09.08

Vice-President candidate Sarah Palin was quite the studette for her high school hoop squad in 1982. So much so, that she was nicknamed Sarah Barracudawhen she led Wasilla High School to the Alaska state championship. Her back-court mate had this to say about their ‘82 Alaskan run for glory:

“The final game was kind of surreal,” said Katy Allers, who played in the back-court with Palin. “We never thought we would make it that far. It was just unbelievable.” [LINK]

And you thought the Republicans didn’t stand a chance?! I can empathize with feeling kind of surreal when it relates to Palin. As I’m sure her former co-workers probably feel about her current run for the White House. You know the co-workers….the fry-cook, hostesses, and over-weight belly hangin’ over the belt-line managers at the Wasilla Hooters. Reportedly, when she waited there, she invented the Maverickky Hot-Wings and served them with a wink and saying, “these go great with a six-pack, Joe.”