Steve: Hey ya big ugly f*ck…. looks like we’re not only ass crack ugly, but losers again this year.
Dirk: Jaaaa….is good…..no?
Steve: No, ya Sleestak looking chimp. Is noooo good! Shit! Looks like our pathetic arses are paired up again for early off-season loser debauchery. I know your affection for 6′ 4″ trannies that swill German ale, but let’s keep it under 6′ 0″ and in the vagina class of American woman.
Dirk: Jaaaaa….I much like visit Virginia.
Steve: Nah…man! Ya Cracker ass Cracker. You know, woman without dicks. We need a classy destination that can appreciate our particular brand of man. A place where we’re understood for the despicably horrific, unevolved creatures that we are….
Steve: That’s right, my underachieving Euro giant! Reno! Yeeeee Haaaaaw! Where steak and eggs are $1.99 and the Raider Nation come for family vacations for 4 days/3 nights on $200. It’s perfect! Our mugs and chromosome mismanaged bodies will thrive here, my brother.
Dirk: This Raider Nation you speak of….is a good place, no? Indiana Jones live there, no?
Steve: No, ya simp. It’s a cult where people wear black, have bouts and fits of grandeur, and worship a creature that can only be described as a decaying urinal trough. It’s a bit like Suns and Maverick fans.
Dirk: This creature….it’s name is Mark Cuban, no?
Steve: Haaa, haaa! I could see where you’d be confused! No, this particular foul creature is named Al Davis. I believe he served in the Civil War and resides in a hyperbolic chamber. I’ve heard he spends time in Reno too.
Man. F*ck this….let’s hit up the El Dorado, pound these Schlitz.
(Leave airport for the El Dorado. Shotgun twelve pack of Schlitz. Arrive at El Dorado)
Dirk: Let us go now. I want f*ck some of these Raider Nations. Schlitz make Dirk arouse. Miss Mama and Avery.
Steve: You really are a sick f*ck. And stop squeezing my nipple, bitch! Hey….let’s belly-up to that $1 blackjack table over there…see if we can’t take home some of these fine Northern Nevada bitches.
Dirk: Jaaaaaaa…..is goooood! This Raider Nation there remind me of Mama. She has a Virginia, no?
Al: Yo, Albatross. You ever block a field goal? Before I die, I’ve promised myself to make the most non-sensical deals in the history of professional sports….and you’d be perfect in Raider black, my friend.
Dirk: Jaaaaa….this mean I make boom-boom with your Virginia too?
Steve: Sick f*ck. Man, if I didn’t have this archaic brow ridge…I’d lose this freak once and for all…..
