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Archive for the ‘Alba’ Category

Tue 7.31.07

Say you’re not the stupidest pock-marked man living on God’s Green Earth?!

Apparently, the split between Cash “Chump Change” Warren and “The Winner” Jessica Alba was actually instigated by him?! From NY Daily News:

“He wasn’t ready for marriage, and Jessica is,” says an insider.

“It’s simple as that. It’s kind of cold that the press is saying she was just finished with him, because it isn’t like that.”

Apparently Alba got serious pangs at the recent fairy-tale chateau wedding of her friend Eva Longoria.

“Seeing Eva get married made Jessica wistful,” says the friend. “That was the reason Jessica seemed to be in a terrible mood in Paris.” [SOURCE]

Disgusting. Come on, Jessica! Having Eva as a role model is like PartMule rolling around in mud hoping to be mistaken as a pig. But, Cash is way over-achieving and if that’s the impetus to dump the loafer than so be it.

(PartMule says, waiting in the wings…)

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ALBA COLD AND HARD ON CASH - NEWLY SINGLE

Wed 7.25.07

Well, well, well….Christmas in July!

The lovely, irrepressible, winner of all contests Jessica Alba is back on the market! She dumped her boyfriend of two years ~~chump change~~ Cash Warren with a wicked precision not seen since Brad Pitt axed Jennifer Anniston. Mind you, over the phone!

Here’s the story from Access Hollywood:

The handsome production assistant turned producer (Cash Warren) and Alba were inseparable for two years until this weekend when, the magazine says, Alba broke up with Warren. On July 22, she reportedly called him and told him “I’m not in love with you anymore,” sources told the magazine.

Warren is said to be distraught. A source told US Weekly, the split “happened . . . almost out of nowhere,” they said. “He’s totally devastated.”

Alba’s rep had no comment. [SOURCE]

No comment from the rep? How about “She’s Jessica Alba! He’s Cash Warren?! Let’s all take a minute, step back, and get fuckin’ real!”

Alba can now put the “Vixen” trophy between the “Diva” diploma and the “Hottest Chick Alive” cup on her mantel.

More Jessica Alba stuff:

Alba and 50-Cent? [LINK]

Alba - Fantasy Player of the Year [LINK]

Alba Wedgie [LINK]

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Mule Trails

Fri 7.20.07

Babies Eating Lemons [COLLEGEHUMOR]

Model Falls…Anchormen/women laugh their arses off….so does PartMule [GIGGLESUGAR]

Bud Selig’s doberman gives us the 4-1-1 on MLB’s commissioner [FANHOUSE]

Vicky Beckham developing that Soccer Mom cottage cheese. Yeah! [CELEBSLAM]

Even though they give me no love - Deadspin handicaps the next MLB player to bang Alyssa Milano [DEADSPIN]

Click Video for Jessica Alba:

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ALBA AND FITTY?!

Tue 7.10.07

Say it ain’t so?! The Winner, Jessica Alba, and Rap Superstar 50 Cent a blossoming couple? What’s wrong with a blossoming blogger PartMule? How about if I were PartDollar? Would that change things?

(sigh)

Okay, if this is true, more power to Fitty. Pretty impressive conquest, Mr. Cent. MEDIA TAKE OUT is reporting the Mr. Cent and Ms. Winner combination. Video above is of Fitty introducing Alba on stage:

One of MediaTakeOut.com’s faithful readers in the Netherlands caught up with 50 and Jessica on what she claims was a romantic evening. Tells the tipster, “Last Friday I was at [a local restaurant named] Van Vlaanderen and you’ll never guess who I saw - 50 Cent and Jessica Alba. They tried to sit quietly in the back but I know it was them …. They were talking and laughing like a real couple and it looked very romantic. At one point it even looked like they were going to kiss, but they didn’t.”

And there’s more to the story. The very next night, at a concert in the Netherlands, 50 actually brought Jessica out on stage with him - introducing her as the “loveliest woman in Hollywood.”

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FANTASY PLAYER OF THE YEAR

Sun 7.01.07

Fantasy football drafts are tricky. But nothing too tricky about picking Jessica Alba for the PartMule traveling all-star squad this summer. She clearly wins all competitions.

CLICK THUMBNAILS FOR MORE ALBA: