Archive for the ‘Mule Non-Fiction’ Category

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Spash News Online

David Beckham took his kids to Disneyland recently to enjoy a day of fun-in-the-sun, rides, food, and checking out the exhibits.   Park officials were pleased to have the celebrity on the grounds, but were later disappointed when photos surfaced of him dragging one of the wax caricatures from the Pirates of the Caribbean ride.  Contacted by the park later, Beckham claimed it was only his wife and a complete misunderstanding.  The Orange County Sheriff Forensics Unit is currently investigating the incident and analyzing the photos.




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The new installment of Donald Trump’s The Apprentice is in the process of casting and it will feature celebrity actors and ex-athletes competing to be The Donald’s new pupil.   Already signed up are gambler Pete Rose and grillman George Foreman.   There are some other interesting possibilities….

Donald Trump isn’t avoiding the tabloid stands when choosing contestants for is upcoming Celebrity Apprentice.   The Donald says he is after high-profile party girls Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Lindsay Lohan. Trump referred to each of the infamous burn outs as “[bleeping] messes” when he discussed their potential appearance on the show [SOURCE]

Reportedly Trump is in negotiations with Spears, Hilton is chomping at the bit, and Lohan is throwing back a couple brews in Utah considering it.  A solid outside shot of competing is Trump’s infamous wig — which is said to be considering this ”very seriously”.

Early Vegas odds – should the wig compete – have the wig as a 3-2 favorite over Spears at 5-1 and Lohan 8-1.  Hilton is off the board, with no bets being taken, because there is no board in Vegas big enough to represent 100000000000000000 to 1.




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*Note:  Photos not to scale * 

A bad-ass mad dog chihuahua took down a rattler this past weekend while protecting a 1 year-old toddler from being struck by the venomous coiler.   It was the child’s grandparents pet dog Zoey that had the fighting heart of a pit bull to sacrifice itself for the kids welfare.  This from AP:

Booker West was splashing his hands in a birdbath in his grandparents’ northern Colorado back yard when the snake slithered up to the toddler, rattled and struck. Five-pound Zoey jumped in the way and took the bites.

“She got in between Booker and the snake, and that’s when I heard her yipe,” said Monty Long, the boy’s grandfather.

The dog required treatment and for a time it appeared she might not survive. Now she prances about.

“These little bitty dogs, they just don’t really get credit,” Booker’s grandma Denise Long told the Loveland Daily Reporter-Herald.  [SOURCE]

Uh, yeah, can you say ‘child protection agency’?  The G-parents have to work on their guardian skills, I’d say.  Small child, “splashing his hands” in a polluted birdbath with bird shit all in it.   Serpents lurking, nobody watching?   Not to rain on the ‘fuzzy dog savior story’, but G-parents just very well may be ready for assisted living




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Better than Pokemon?  Maybe.  Better than Tiger?  Hold that Ryo.

Well, Ryo Ishikawa may in fact be on the way to Tiger-dom, as the Japanese media contend.  The 15 year-old won the Japan Golf Tour’s Munsingwear Open KSB Cup back in May, making him the only teenager to ever win on the Japan Tour, besting the youngest age mark set by Seve Ballesteros’ 1977 win at 20 years-old. 

In winning that tournament, he’s become a Japanese super-hero of Pokemon status.   This week he’s in the States playing in the Callaway Junior Golf Championship at the South Course of Torrey Pines and the normally reserved Japanese media — har, har — have descended upon La Jolla in droves like nobody has seen before.  From the San Diego Tribune:

“I’ve never seen anything like this,” said Junior World media coordinator Rick Schloss. “There’s not this many people here for one guy, even Tiger, at the Buick Invitational. And this is just a practice round.”

“He is the chosen star of today, Japan is a very fad-and hype-based country. If you look at fashion, everybody is buying Abercrombie & Fitch. It’s the same in the media. When they say cover this guy, they are serious about it.”  [SOURCE]

Japanese ‘fad and hype’ based?  Blaspheme!  I bet he’s gonna say the Japanese like photography too!




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A little off-topic, but what really is “on-topic” for this site anyway….

Just to give all you heroin addicts out there the 4-1-1, the war-on-terror is enabling you to get your fix this afternoon!  Indeed, prices may actually be more attractive for you this fall and I’d be short selling my opium commodity stake at the Chicago Mercantile.   

Afghanistan’s heroin-producing poppy crop set another record this season, despite intensified eradication efforts, the American ambassador said Tuesday.

Ambassador William Wood said preliminary data show that Afghan farmers harvested 457,135 acres of opium poppies this year, compared to 407,715 acres last year. The growing industry fuels the Taliban, crime, addiction and government corruption.

Government-led eradication efforts destroyed about 49,420 acres of poppies this year, a “disappointing” outcome, Wood told reporters at his private residence overlooking Kabul.

Afghanistan last year accounted for 92 percent of global opium production, up from 70 percent in 2000 and 52 percent a decade earlier. With the higher yields, global opium production increased 43 percent between 2005 and 2006. [SOURCE]

Let’s here it!  Hooray for poppy’s!  Long-live the syringe and tourniquet!   Can’t wait for my arm to look like that dude’s!




California has its own wacky, crazy events that would put the most southern in-bred hoedown to shame.  Instead of flopping into mud or bugger tossing for budweiser we like to pit frogs against each other in jumping competitions.  The video pretty much sums it up and smacks California right in the heart of the Sun Belt now.

The place and event is the Calveras County Jubilee this past May.  I haven’t been since I was an eight year-old, but it was shit frog kickin’ good fun, lemme tell ya!

I know you’ve been eagerly awaiting this report of the results.  Soooo…d’er de is….

The filly LISA CAN DO owned it!

Frog Frog Jockey Distance
Lisa Can Do  Brent Bloom 

21’ 4 ¼”

Jumpin Daly Joseph Kitchell  19’ 17 ½”
To be or not to be   Gavin Daly  19 10 ¼”
Kasha   Jacob Kitchell  19’ 6 ¾”
Don’t you wish  Bob Yost  19’ ¼ “
Buck Shot  Michael Ziehlke Jr.  18’ 9”
Worthless Chris Craig Eisenlauer 

18’ 6 ¼”

Papi  Kevin Daly 

18’ 5 ½”