Archive for the ‘NASCAR’ Category

DALE EARNHARDT JR. OPENS A BAR IN CHARLOTTE ALMOST NAKED (HEE, HEE, HEE) 

Dale Earnhardt Jr. has taken his celeb and cash to the bar.   No…not to booze it up and play dumb jock like Melo….but to make more cash and cash-in on his penchant for barkeepin’….

“There’s a stigma about how drivers can’t do anything,” Earnhardt said. “They have to focus, and this, that and the other. Anytime you do anything or want to do anything or talk about anything, people want to question your focus or whatever.”

It was probably inevitable Earnhardt would open a bar. There were all those stories of Club E, the homemade bar in the basement of his house as he was breaking into NASCAR’s top circuit. One of Earnhardt’s close friends, J.R. Rhodes, was once a bartender in Daytona. They had talked about opening a bar for years, and Whisky River became a reality this month. [link]

 I love it!  Why not cash-in on your alcoholism and all the knuckleheads that suck-off you anyway.  I hear the bar is an exact replica of DEJ’s basement…there’s a water heater, washer and dryer, and a holding pen for those reluctant post-roofie dates.  Oh….wait….wrong basement….I just had flashbacks of my college fraternity.  Damn.  Those were the days!




JIMMIE JOHNSON AND JEFF GORDON NASCAR TITLE, TOGETHER, ORNAMENTS

With Jimmie Johnson taking home his 2nd straight NASCAR Nextel Cup on Sunday, he may be pushing the sport away from it’s core fan-base by not being a good ‘ol boy from the south with a bad boy image. 

Johnson, a native of El Cajon, Ca. has come on to dominate the sport that has traditionally been led by drivers from the Carolina’s with bag ‘em up images, such as that of pioneers Richard Petty and Dale Earnhardt Sr.   Some say this a negative, due to the fact the core fan-base can’t relate to California boys like Johnson and Jeff Gordon….that maybe a can of Skoal and an off-the-track lady chasin’ image suit the sport vs. the squeaky clean image.

But other unlikely opinions sort of disagree, like that of fellow driver and Carolinian Kyle Petty:

“The reason I say that it makes no difference is, was the racing any worse because there wasn’t a driver from North Carolina that won? Was racing a lot different? Did the game of hockey change because the Stanley Cup went to Texas?”

Well, Kyle….I’d tread lightly with the hockey analogy.  Which, for those of you unaware of the status of ice hockey, is still a professional sport played and watched by a few many  (Where? I’m not certain).  

However, Kyle did have this observation about the Cal-bred champions,

“What hurts our ratings right now is you have two California guys driving for the same team, the same brand with the same personality doing the same thing…..best part about Dale Earnhardt, no matter who he was racing for the championship with, he was constantly kicking them, constantly aggravating them, constantly throwing something out there.”  [LINK TO STORY]

Being from California, I could throw out some non-relevant statements about how our out-breeding wins out over in-breeding, that skin cancer rules over lung cancer, or that California’s median temperature is rad….but I won’t.  I will say I love the fact that there’s a scenario where Californians are thought down upon for being categorized as more squeaky clean than people from the Sun Belt. 




You ever feel like NASCAR’s playoff series — The Chase – takes longer than the application of Britney Spear’s Retina-A….or maybe even longer than the NBA playoffs….a snails pace Chase, if you will.

Well, I happened upon this NASCAR parody that seems pretty darn appropriate…..

(quick sigh, readies himself for quick rant)

P.S. - (quick rant begins) And what kind of pussy sport has competitors waving white flags before the playoffs are even over….much less still within reach….however improbable!   Gordon, ya puss.




Obligatory Quarterly NASCAR Post 

Kevin Harvick and Juan Pablo Montoya did a little rubbin’ and racin’ this past weekend at Watkins Glen International in New York.  I hadn’t actually seen the cat-fight between these two…it’s amusing to watch two guys in astronaut gear poke at each other. 

Apparently Montoya, the new NASCAR racer and former-Indy car driver, has been doing too much rubbin’ this year.  And Montoya is a midget that knows Kung Fu….yikes….this doesn’t set-up well for Harvick.




 

PartMule’s really gettin’ into the whole turn left, then turn left, then left again thing this year. NASCAR dun got me by the britches!  Shiiiiit!  I’ve been really into the Nextel Cup standings, NASCAR’s equivalent of a pennant race, and am excited by the duel shaping up between Jimmie Johnson and Jeff Gordon this year.  But this past weekends beer throwing, hillbilly crap may have got me hooked, real nice!

In case you were sidetracked reading a book or perusing an art gallery or some shit, the rest of America’s finest were glued to the events at the Phoenix International Speedway last Sunday.  Jeff Gordon won the day’s race, which equaled Dale Earnhardt Sr.’s all-time stock car victory mark of 76, and celebrated by cruising the track with Earnhardt Sr.’s #3’s flag raised out his window.   Gordon’s tribute to #3, who died a few years back in a crash at Daytona, showed a lot of class in a sport that has always screamed for a class upgrade.

What happened next?   Well, the refined crowd proceeded to pelt his car with beer, hot dogs, and I think possum stew.   They took the “Yankee” action as a insult (did I mention the Yankees again!).   Dale Earnhardt Jr. understood what Gordon was trying to do and later commended him for his appreciate of his Dad’s record. 

Earnhardt Jr. commented on the crowd’s reaction,  “I’d consider it nasty, he said.   I don’t feel comfortable with beer cans flying on the racetrack at any point in time. You see a lot of them are full, half full, hitting people ’cause they’re not making it over the fence, knocking people in the back of the head.”  

Only in a sport such as NASCAR does one of its athletes have to speak publicly about his discomfort in the rampant tossing of beer cans at the arena and the potential for injury to other fans.  Shit, this stuff makes me wanna watch every Sunday!!   If this were a Laker game, it’d be the equivalent of Jack Nicholson getting ropped in the back of the head by an incoming Budweiser from the upper deck.  What’s not fun in watching that, right?