Yup…Warren Sapp was still playing! I know….I asked where? too!…and playing what? 

Well, the truth of the matter is that Warren Sapp has been banished to the Oakland Raiders the past few years.  No….I’m sure it wasn’t self-imposed….he probably pissed off the commissioner’s office….or his agent….or is like Angeline Jolie who likes to cut herself and stuff. 

Warren had this to say about himself earlier in the season,

“Every defensive tackle that’s drafted in the top five is supposed to be the next (me),” Sapp said earlier this season. “All of them have that tag. … I’ve played the game pretty well, so if I’m the standard by which (they’ll) be judged, that’s tough, because I’d like to relive that guy, too. He’s a bad boy. He’s dead now. I give you flashes of him every now and then but, nah, that guy was sick.” [link]

Umm…OK.  Lacking in self-esteem are ya big fella?!  You really helped the Raiders succeed these past few pleasurable years?  I know I measure everyone in my life on the Sapp Totem pole.  Are they sick as Warren?  Do they smoke as much weed as Warren?   Does their belly hang to their knees like Warren? 

Best of luck in the future!  I know we’ll miss you?

I was a little weirded out when I checked my site and saw this REALJOCK ad pop up…I think for gay-guy workouts, felch parties, or some shit like that….the one on the right left.

Google AdSense, one of my third-party advertisers, rotates advertising depending on the content of the site — which by virtue of the boobs…..somtimes crass remarks…..and moniker/logo would most assuredly distinguish PartMule as gay….right?!  

Well, to my amazement, I was floored to see the ad of Cleveland Brown’s QB Brady Quinn look-a-like on my site representing REALJOCK…. Is that ad a spitting likeness or what?   Which one is the real one at quick glance?   Floored, people.   I doctored up a real Quinn photo for perspective…the one on the left right.

Below is electric-bugaloo Quinn at A.J. Hawk’s wedding back in May.   Some sites have taken these photos down…..I say screw it.  

Again.  You tell me?!

Kansas City Chief’s Head Coach Herm Edwards announced Monday that he will make a change at quarterback and start young-gun Brodi Croyle over Damon Huard.   America was introduced up-close and personal to Brodi and his silicone endowed wife Kelli in the pre-season during the HBO series Hard Knocks.   No…not a series on bad boob jobs….but on the football pre-season activities of the Kansas City Chiefs.  

 ”You need a spark,” Edwards said. “We’ve been in some contests now where we haven’t had the ability to score points. That’s part of your job as a quarterback, to put points on the board and move the football team. We’ve moved at times, but we’ve also been very inconsistent.”

Croyle was 17-for-30 for 162 yards, with one interception, in the 27-11 loss that dropped Kansas City to 4-5.

Huard, an 11-year veteran, was a career backup until he took over for the injured Trent Green last year and played well in eight games. Huard then beat out Croyle in the preseason for the starter’s job but has been inconsistent - before Croyle came in Sunday he had thrown two interceptions and lost a fumble in that game.  [LINK TO STORY]

We’re just thrilled to have a new bank of sideline shots of Knockasauras rex wife Kelli, who endeared herself to the country with her sassy style, constant pre-season support for her struggling husband Brodi, and her ability to touch her nipples to her chin without use of bra or hands.   Oh….good luck Brodi on that quarterback thing too.

Jeremy Shockey spent some time this past week in South Beach, Florida during the New York Giants bye week.  He visited old friends from his University of Miami days, did some fishin’, hung out had some beers and jokes, and supervised the beat-down of some dude after they enjoyed a fine meal at Monty’s restaurant .  You know, standard “day-in-the-life”, alumni of the “U” horseplay….

A spy who witnessed the violent incident said a group of Shockey’s friends beat up a man who snapped at him….

 Shockey had come in after spending the day fishing and was minding his own business, our spy said, when the troublemaker approached him. “Jeremy was with a few friends, and to his credit he kept his cool,” we’re told. “But then, he gets up to go to the bathroom and we see chairs flying and the guy gets his butt kicked.” When Shockey came back he appeared as though “he was trying to break it up,” said the witness. “But not before he swipes the University of Miami hat off the head of the guy’s friend, telling him he’s a disgrace to the school.  [LINK TO STORY]

You gotta love d’em ‘U’ guys.   Standing up for their school and beating down those that disgrace their fine university.  ‘Cause Shockey and the clan on the football field are all about duty, honor, and country….oh wait, that’s U.S. Marines slogan!  Oops….my bad…..easy to confuse.  That’s right, University of Miami’s slogan is booty, hoes, and beat-down.    Obvious similarities. 

The experience of being force fed a healthy serving of ‘rookie running back humble pie’ has left the San Diego Chargers shaking their ego’s and wondering WTF happened to them?   Prior to Sunday’s thrashing by Purple Jesus Adrian Peterson, he of 296 yards….and 3 TD’s….and unreal quickness…, the Chargers were riding high coming off three straight wins and regaining some of their 2006 swagger. After yesterday,

 ”We’re not an elite team at all,” LaDainian Tomlinson said. “We’re a team that’s in the middle of the pack and we’re struggling trying to win games.”

“I think you can try to blame it on Norv Turner, but I would love to see him go out and try to tackle somebody right now,” Shawne Merriman said.

How about blaming it on defensive coordinator Ted Cottrell?

“I would love to see Ted try to tackle somebody right now,” Merriman said. “The 11 players on the field are the ones who have to tackle. The coaches cannot go out and tackle for us.”  [LINK TO STORY]

I love it when athletes equate the rigors and the execution of their jobs with fans, owners, the media and coaches.  Yeah, Shawne, I agree.   The frickin’ last thing I want to see is Norv Turner fighting off a block and foolishly trying to arm tackle an explosive running back.  We, the fans, pay to watch you do that.  And man, did we get our money’s worth on Sunday!

Those of you privy to watching the Minnesota Vikings and San Diego Chargers game yesterday witnessed the unveiling of a NFL monster.   Vikings running back Adrian Peterson ran for an unimaginable NFL record 296 yards yesterday and scored 3 touchdowns against a defensive squad that prides itself on stopping the run and was thoroughly dismantled, regardless of the Vikings inept passing attack and the Chargers keeping eight defensive men in the box to combat the run attack.

“It’s not just disappointing, it’s embarrassing,” linebacker Shawne Merriman said. “I don’t give a damn they beat us. It’s how they beat us. That (stuff) is not tolerated. You lose sometimes, but you never stop fighting. You go out there and battle. We got embarrassed.”

Other players agreed, but head coach Norv Turner hedged. “I have been in this league too long to use the word- ‘embarrassed,’ ” he said.

Turner did say this to his team in the locker room: “We’re too good to have happen what happened to us today.” 

 ”I’ve never seen anything like it,” Tomlinson said of Peterson’s performance.
 [LINK TO STORY]

The Chargers now go into week 10 for a Sunday night showdown v. the Indianapolis Colts. The Colts probably should have beat the seemingly unbeatable New England Patriots yesterday, but were torched by the Patriots black-magic 4th quarter wizardry that we’ve come to know and hate so much — this coming from a Qualcommer who saw similar Patriots voodoo in last year’s playoffs.

As for Peterson, the sky’s the limit.  Through eight games he has 1,036 yards rushing and he has not only Eric Dickerson’s 1,808 rookie season mark in sight - set in 1983 - but Dickerson’s all-time mark of 2,105 yards in 1984.   Scary stuff.   After a banner freshman season at Oklahoma, finishing second in the Heisman balloting, he was banged up his sophomore year with a nagging high-ankle sprain injury, and then a collar bone injury eliminated most of his junior year.   These injuries contributed to his falling to the #7 spot in the NFL draft and to the Viking’s joy today at having the potential to watch an all-time great back for years to come.