As per their customary, politically incorrect protocol, the Chinese government has published an English-language manual for Olympic volunteers to use in-order to make the disabled visitors feel like complete derelicts.  The wording in the document is chock-full of incredibly poor transalated phrases, definitions, and words.  [Story]

For the blind,

To handle the “Optically Disabled,” the guide said: “Often the optically disabled are introverted. They have deep and implicit feelings and seldom show strong emotions. … Remember, when you communicate with optically disabled people, try not to use the world ‘blind’ when you meet for the first time.”

For the physically disabled,

“Physically disabled people are often mentally healthy. They show no differences in sensation, reaction, memorization and thinking mechanisms from other people, but they might have unusual personalities because of disfigurement and disability.

On the general treatment of the disabled,

The guide said volunteers should “not fuss or show unusual curiosity, and never stare at their disfigurement.” It also advised volunteers to steer away from words like “cripple or lame, even if you are just joking.”

On the drunk,

“Give them libations until they vomit.  After escorting them back to their hotel, be sure to stock their rooms with ample beer and liquor for their post-binge drinking hangover.  Be sure to leave the Olympic committee approved list of bath houses and full-body massage parlors for our esteemed guests to enjoy during their stay. 

I know….I know….I may have went a little overboard here and slightly exaggerated.  The whole “never stare at their disfigurement” part was way over the top.  Sorry if I offended. 

 (Ed note: I ran this story by the Chinese communist party before I posted it, ensuring the complete accuracy of the facts surrounding the Olympic torch relay and it’s flight up Mt Everest.  The corrections are reflected in bold.)

In order to crack down on to protests of honor the people of Tibet, the insidious human rights violators gracious Chinese government decided to burn down light the Olympic flame at the top of Mt. Everest.   Red Army soldiers threw honored sherpa guides from at the peak as a show of strength solidarity to quell  exhibit Chinese independence efforts by Tibet nationalism.

Oscar winning director Steven Spielberg has withdrawn as an artistic advisor to the 2008 Beijing Olympics in protest over the Chinese government’s involvement in Sudan (Darfur).  China is a major purchaser of Sudanese oil and invests heavily in the country’s related infrastructure. 

“At this point, my time and energy must be spent not on Olympic ceremonies, but on doing all I can to help bring an end to the unspeakable crimes against humanity that continue to be committed in Darfur,” 

 In April, he wrote a letter to Chinese President Hu Jintao adding his voice to the chorus of people who have protested China’s involvement with the Sudanese government over the crisis in Darfur. At that time, Spielberg had asked to meet with Hu, but the president had not responded. [link]

Waaaay to make a stand there, buddy.  You just figured out China tends to machine-gun civilizians, loves it’s propaganda (again), and fills it’s steamy buns with cardboard?  What’s a few hundred thousand Christians in Sudan to an artist like yourself?  Bravo.  Oh…I allllmmmost forgot….figures….your the dumbass that didn’t see the value in making a sequel to E.T.  But, God forbid we miss out on Jaws XXIV!

More Related on PartMule:

CHINA LIKES PROPAGANDA AGAIN
GO FIGURE, U.N. CALLS FOR PEACE DURING THE OLYMPICS

The much anticipated Olympic swim facility at the Beijing National Aquatics Center was unveiled to the public for the first time on Monday.  The center was built for the 2008 Olympic Games, but will play host this week to the “Good Luck Beijing” Swimming China Open.

The state-of-the-art facility was designed to look like a cube of water (as I reported back in July HERE)…. and along with the “Bird’s Nest” Stadium next door, would be the symbols of China’s oppression progression into a 21st century world leader.  Some details about the facility:

> The Water Cube is the only Olympic venue funded by $110 million in donations from ethnic Chinese living outside mainland China.

> The structure was designed by an Australian consortium and work started on it 2003.

> The squat box-like structure — with three pools below ground level — is made up of a steel skeleton sheathed in a Teflon-like plastic that resembles bubbling water and gives the venue its name.

> More than half the Beijing venues, including the Water Cube, are concentrated in one small area in the north of the city known as the Olympic Green. [link]

> The Water Cube will be renamed The Waterboarding Cube after the Olympic Games and be the Communist party’s torture training facility for reluctant aspiring young party members.

Umm…OK!….I fibbed that last part.

Click on Thumbnails for More of the BEIJING NATIONAL AQUATIC CENTER

The Games have begun! 

The Chinese government has vowed to turn-up the propaganda machine in order to temper the rising impact of human rights groups, the proliferation of anti-government information, and to raise the image of China as the 2008 Olympic Games approach…although the intent of a stronger propaganda tactic was not explicitly directed at the Olympics.

The Chinese President Hu Jintao, seemingly weary of the Olympics and it’s potential platform to expose the Chinese government’s human-rights indiscretions,  has rang the propaganda bell –

Officials should “perform well the task of outward propaganda, further exhibit and raise up the nation’s good image,” Hu said.

Reports on his remarks Tuesday to party leaders and propaganda officials dominated the front page of the party’s flagship People’s Daily and other official newspapers Wednesday.

The reports did not indicate any direct mention of the Olympics by Hu. However, they said he called for boosting China’s “cultural soft power,” a reference to influence in culture, sports and other spheres outside traditional military might and hard-nosed diplomacy.  [link]

Blah, blah, blah…..as long as I don’t have to chew on cardboard steamy buns [link], or contract lead poisoning from my Dora doll [link], or earn less royalties on my music [link], and can practice free religion [link]…I really don’t want to get involved.  I’m a pacifist, not an activist!   F*cker!

FYI….I’m really looking forward to this summer’s Tiananmen Square gun show.  I hear it’s just terrific!  The best in the world….

More PartMule on China’s Olympics:

ARE THE CHINESE PLAYING MOTHER NATURE?
WORLD’S HAIRIEST MAN BIDS TO CARRY BEIJING FIRE
CHINA’S 2008 TOTALITARIAN BUBBLE TAKING SHAPE

The Games in 2008 Beijing could be the first Olympics where an athlete with prosthetic limbs could be competing in track and field events.  Oscar Pistorius was born without fibulas and runs with blades as prosthetic replacements for his lower legs (below the knee…photo above) and is seeking clearance to compete in the Games….but, the stink is that the blades may actually give Pistorius an unfair advantage.   This according to a German professor that did tests on the limbs…. 

“He has considerable advantages over athletes without prosthetic limbs who were tested by us,” Prof. Gert-Peter Brueggemann told Die Welt newspaper in an article posted online Thursday. “It was more than just a few percentage points. I did not expect it to be so clear.”

 To reach the 2008 Olympics, Pistorius would have to run the 400 in 45.95 seconds before the July 2008 qualifying deadline. His personal best is 46.56.

The 21-year-old Pistorius — nicknamed the “Blade Runner” — competed in the 400 at two international-level able-bodied meets in 2007. He finished second in a “B” race in 46.90 seconds at the Golden League meet in Rome on July 13 and, two days later, was disqualified for running out of his lane in Sheffield, England. [link]

When I first heard of “Blade Runner at the Olympics”, I guess I was confused.  I was thinking the Chinese were going unvail new advancements in genetic engineering….and introduce replicants like the beautiful Daryl Hannah in the movie Blade Runner….that visitors to Beijing could have their way with these replicants….and that houses of ill repute would be made available…..but…silly me, my imagination went a bit haywire.  I digress….have a nice day.