As you may have noticed, PartMule is part of a network of sports blog sites called Yardbarker. Simply, it’s a grouping of knuckleheads that like to write about sports, celebrity, and creatively stupid stuff. It’s also a place where avid sports fans can get up-to-the-minute information on sports, celebrity, and sometimes creatively stupid stuff.
As for my site, I created PartMule out of a response to my package an internal desire to have a forum to vent my creative juices — however juvenile they may be — and to have a blast writing (when time permits) and to be appreciated by readers 10% of the time (up from 6.2% last year!)
That being said — which I know matters nil — there’s this Yardbarker contest to get an invite to the Fight Night at the Playboy Mansion. I’m easily the hands down choice…But, damned if I have to prove it!
So, in order to get the nod, I’ve created this list of reasons why I should be THE ONE!
#1) ‘Cause my wife is HOT (see above right) and would surely stamp my hall-pass “Approved”…even with my man-groomed chest…flexing in The Mansion.
#2) ‘Cause I’ve already got Playboy party experience…as you can see by the photo of me partying it up at the Palms in Vegas. I’m the guy next to the dude with his eyes close. DUUVVVA, you kill me!
#3) ‘Cause I’ve got mad dance skillz when called upon…as evidenced by my last pre-Playboy party party….even with a lit cigarette in the right hand!
#4) ‘Cause if worse comes to worse, I’ll be able to mix cocktails for the Yardbarker contingent. Trust me, I make a mean Kettel Red Bull…it truly takes a special twirl.
#5) ‘Cause my wife can still represent, even after 12 hours poolside at the Palms. Note — the Tool in the middle was a pretty solid dude…although his hands on my lil’ sister to his right is grounds for a beat-down. Sorry, Tony.
#6) ‘Cause I let Tone Loc get his post-performance sweaty mitts on my lady. I’m a gracious, non-threatening guy…for the most part…
#7) ‘Cause this is how I roll to the Playboy parties! Well…when I’m impressing my little sis’ (who happens to be taking the photo and is deathly afraid of cabs).
#8) ‘Cause no logo rocks like PartMule!!!
#9) ‘Cause of Playboy Bunnies (!!), Hef, and potential celebrity meltdowns! Who better than this knucklehead from San Diego to shine the light on the late night goings-on at the Mansion!!
#10) ‘Cause I need to make a comeback from my last Playboy party adventure at the Palms*! I was cold-cocked by a drunk dude at 3am (photo above).
Honest to God! I told the dude to go f*ck himself for hitting on my wife…he then creeps around a sliding glass door in the back, and cracks me from the side. As you can see, not a very good shot…just glancing. I managed to get in a few before getting escorted out by a Lincoln Kennedy looking dude.
So, if there it is…a “Fight Night” at the Playboy Mansion, no doubt Kirk from PartMule needs to be there!
* Ed. Note: Comeback as in another appearance. I’m a decent dude with great personality that would represent Yardbarker in the most solid way…
