Archive for the ‘Poker’ Category

Athletics can be simple.  Pick the right career path and you’re golden.  Hang back, collect the loot, and you might just pick up a hot babe or two while your at it.  Banging home 6 to 7 figures for minimal physical effort is money.  Literally, figuratively, and in yo pocket…

Here’s my List of Easiest Jobs in Professional Sports

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  • MLB Pinch Hitter:   Swinging a piece of wood — that’s not a broom — every other day, or so, is my kind of PT job in athletics.  Manny Mota was a pinch hitter extraordinaire for the L.A. Dodgers back in the 1970’s that never sniffed the field — yes, I know, only later in his career.  His speciality was to get a hit in a clutch part of the game (record 150 pinch hits in his career), not have to take a post-game shower, and hit the bar later for a delicious mojito.

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  • Dart Tosser:  Throwing a pointed object at a target surrounded by cork is a fuckin’ cake-walk.  Beer and chicken wings are included.  Not sure who the fat, ugly champion of this sport is to ridicule, so I’ll only say that I’m sure he/she is very sweaty with a pot belly.

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  • Soccer Goalie:  You can smoke weed, be a hippy, protect a scoring rectangle from 2 to 3 shots a game, and eventually be a GM in soccer — L.A. Galaxy’s Alexi Lalas.   Additionally, growing up, you can bond with your Cheetos throwing Soccer Mom at those Thursday afternoon games.  But, don’t confuse this with a ice hockey goalie.   That shit is on ice, which is hard, and hurts like the dickens!

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  • Mixed Doubles - Man:  Any man that plays professional mixed double tennis is a pimp.  Johnny Mac figured this out, playing with Stefi Graf until he was 65-years-old or something.  The points last all but three seconds, and in-betwen shots you get a peck on the cheek from an ugly dike.  You tell me what’s more simple.

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  • Poker - On the Button:  Sitting back, letting it come to you, throwing away that 4-6 suited.  What a chill athletic job, no?  Poker is all about position — not that I take my own advice — and with patience and a Xanax you can do lots of damage sitting with the white round thing in front of you.  Easy as taking candy….



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By winning the British Open this past weekend, Irishman Padraig Harrington now has ‘champion’ bragging rights in both golf AND within his own family.  

His older cousin, Dan, won the Worlds Series of Poker back in 1995 and is a top poker professional that regularly vies for big tournament wins every year.  Other cousin, Joey, who now plays for Atlanta Falcons and has never been confused as a champion, could very well be considered the ‘blacksheep professional’ of Harrington clan. 

With Michael Vick more than likely out for the season for maiming animals, is it Joey’s time as QB in Atlanta to step-up into the Champions circle with his cousins?  PM says hell no.  Another interesting no “opinion” comes from an Epic Carnival story of Joey e-mailing GM Rich McKay on the pending Michael Vick situation [LINK]. 

Related Stories:

Vick Indicted.  Schilling sock secret revealed. [LINK]

New Poker Champ Crowned [LINK]




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Apparently poker is no longer an American sport? 

I was under the impression Texas was in the contiguous 48 States?  ’Texas Hold ‘Em’ originated in the Lone Star State, right?  Hmm?  I’ve come to learn that Texas is a massive state in Southeast Asia.  That being an Asian Texan AND a psychologist mo-fo is double-trouble… 

The 2007 World Series of Poker Main Event just ended and a humble Laotian immigrant named Jerry Yang has taken down the world’s biggest prize in poker:

Yang, a 39-year-old psychologist from Temecula, Calif., began playing poker only two years ago, but he quickly jumped from eighth in chips at the final table and won the World Series of Poker’s main event. He used his dominant position to knock out seven challengers and take home an $8.25 million payday and poker’s most coveted bracelet yesterday. [SOURCE]

More power to him.  I sit her playin’ $0.05/$0.10 limit on-line and I’m sure my Mule skillz could take ‘em all down!   I’m better than everyone!!  I’d put my $2.75 stack up against the best!  I said the BEST! 

Serious.  That is a fuckin’ big prize and congrats swimmin’ through 6K+  people!!




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Clearly losing its luster. 

I about lost my dinner when I read that Montel Williams was actually leading for a time at the 2007 World Series of Poker Main Event currently going on in Las Vegas.   But, I was able to keep it down after hearing the field had ’shrunk’ to 6,358 players this year from a record 8,773 last year - as if that’s some consolation - making my turkey sausage dinner a bit more palatable.  

(gulp, swallow, gag…) 

Yeah, no consolation.   Come on, Montel Williams?!   

With Greg Raymer, Phil Helmuth, Doyle Brunson, and everyone’s perennial winner Phil Ivey tossed in the first three days of the tourney, I guess the randomness of this ‘professional’ tournament with 6k+ players will continue to outweigh the slickness of the real pros. 

Here’s a summary from ESPN on this year’s tourney thus far:

Top prize at the 2007 World Series of Poker will be $8.25 million….from a total payout of $59.8 million….   

The totals are short of last year’s record 8,773 participants and $12 million top prize. But it comes nine months after President Bush signed a law cracking down on Internet gambling, which is blamed for shrinking the number of entrants who would have qualified in online tournaments….

Talk show host Montel Williams even held the chip lead for several hours on Saturday, at one point amassing 150,000 in chips after starting with 20,000.

But a few spectacularly bad calls later and he was back in the pack, ending the day almost back where he began with 20,900.

Several celebrities have already made it through their first day, including “Spiderman” actor Tobey Maguire and “Everybody Loves Raymond” comedian Brad Garrett. However, former major league slugger Jose Canseco was knocked out in just a few hours.

Survivors from the four opening days will play in two rounds Tuesday and Wednesday before the marathon march to the final table gets under way.

Nine players will sit down at the final table on July 17 to determine a winner. [SOURCE]