The National Football League schedule is out (see it HERE) and the San Diego Chargers have their work cut out for them, with home match-ups against the New England Patriots and the Indianapolis Colts.  In addition, they have to play in London vs. the New Orleans Saints and have three appearances on NBC’s Sunday Night Football, an appearance on ESPN’s Monday Night Football, and have a total of four of eight home games played at night.  From ESPN:

8. Which team got screwed?
No matter how you slice it, sending a team from the West Coast to London is a logistical nightmare. This year San Diego plays at Buffalo in Week 7, then immediately travels to London to play the Saints.

Luckily, the Chargers will have a bye week before taking the field again on U.S. soil Nov. 9 against Kansas City.

“It helps tremendously just to rest,” A.J. Smith said of the bye. “I think that’s why the league has that set in there, so those teams that go in the future will have the bye when you return.”  [link]

Damn.  This night-game business makes for some heavy Monday’s.  Walking only a half-mile to Qualcomm makes it a moral imperative that I attend.  My alcoholism makes it a physical imperative that I consume 20 Coors Lights.  My mortgage makes it a financial imperative that I attend work on a regular basis.  Whew….this is going to be a challenging season in MANY ways. 

BTW…Anyone know what the max payout is for unemployment? 

This week’s lead up to the AFC Championship between the ’upstart’ San Diego Chargers and the perennial ’God’s gift to humanity’ squad New England Patriots is turning into a snuggly-wuggly, lovey-dovey, kiss-kiss, and ‘your prettier than us’ Roman spin-the-bottle orgy. 

Pat’s coach Bill Belichick’s french-kissing banter has clearly rounded second base, with an eye on spinning-the-bottle again and getting down the Chargers pants/getting to third base….

“I really feel we’re playing the best team in the AFC”, New England coach Bill Belichick said on a conference call yesterday. “(In) the second half of the season, they’ve been better than everybody. . . . I don’t know what else they need to do or can do. They couldn’t do any more; they’ve done everything they could do since that middle part of the season.”  [link]

Not to be outdone, Bolt’s GM AJ Smith spun the bottle back, downplaying his squad’s very existence with the elite teams….basically asking the Patriots to the Sadie Hawkins dance….

“We lost that in the first month,” A.J. Smith said. “We’re struggling to get it back. The elite teams are the Indianapolis Colts and the New England Patriots. We are the new kids on the block. We have no championships whatsoever. When you haven’t proved anything, and you’re nothing, everything they say is valid.” [link]

Well….let the games begin!  But….before I go….all of this man-on-man talk makes me want to vomit.  So, I leave you with the lovely PartMule collection of Jessica Alba….the all-time winner….right HERE.

The Chargers won today!  My only when I drink cig is down to the butt as I blog this outstanding Sunday evening….with my luke warm Heineken…

I’ve watched SportsCenter for the third time…or was it the fourth?   I’ve seen the highlights…..I’ve seen the sickening backpedaling of the east coast media….I’ve seen A SECOND STRING UNIT take down the All-Mighty Defending Champ Colts…..

I’ve seen the ignorance/fraud of NFL referring/front-running that took place on that BS PI(?) call late in the game!…(and the NBA has issues?!)

AND….DESPITE IT ALL….

…..THE SAN DIEGO CHARGERS WON….

….and I’ve seen my wife covered it Charger Bolts….blowing sh*t up down at the East Village Tavern today (photo above)….

….and, OT, I’ve seen the last known piss trough in California last night at McGregor’s — next to Qualcomm Stadium  (actual photo below)

…or suffer the possiblity of being the biggest choke artists of all-time professional sports! 

Well…maybe a bit overdramatic, but…let’s get real here!

Home field advantage, an opponent with a banged/inexperienced QB, an opponent without starting WR’s, a four-game losing streak in the playoffs, and your opponents best defensive player (and maybe the best in the league right now) is hurt….umm…oh, AND you’re you’re 8.5 point favorites….

Get ‘er dun!  Is LaDainian resting on his laurels?

“People know the individual stuff,” Tomlinson said this week. “I’ve done a lot of stuff and done what all the great players have done. But what is yet to be seen is can my team win the championship. That’s what is left.”  [link]

Am I gonna slit my wrists if we don’t win one?!  Umm….probably not.  Will I revert back my younger days following the Cowboys?  Doubt it.  Will I burn my Charger gear in effigy?  Well…that is a distinct possibility.  

Living a solid quarter-mile from Qualcomm, I will be a bitter camper if it doesn’t happen.  I will be a drunken camper….AND I may actually go live in a camper to get away from SD for awhile….

Smack me once….shame on you.  Smack me twice….and I smack you back.   Take smack, while talking smack, and….well…..you’re probably not very successful in life….

Anyway.  I digress.  

During Monday night’s Christmas Eve drubbing of the Denver Broncos by the San Diego Chargers (score 23-3)  some serious smack was being exchanged between the teams.  The heated rivalry, which has seen the Chargers win four straight, doesn’t look like it’s gonna simmer down none in the near future.  Apparently, a lot of smack was coming from Charger quarterback Philip Rivers…or at least that’s what the smack is this week regarding the smack….

From Denver cornerback Champ Bailey on Rivers,

He’s not a respectable guy right now, because you talk too much trash and do this and that, but you’re really not a great player in this league right now. You’re surrounded by great players, but you’re not a great player.

“I think he needs to understand where he stands in this league – on his team first and foremost. They’ve got a lot of classy guys on that team. He kind of represents the classless guy on that team. He’s definitely lost my respect.

From Denver quarterback Jay Cutler on Rivers’ antics,

“It’s an unfortunate situation,” he said. “They talk a lot of stuff. It got heated between the two teams. Personally, I don’t think the teams like each other, which is fine. It’s just going to add to it later next year and the year after that. It should be exciting.”

From Justin Timberlake on Britney Spears in the Timbaland produced classic Cry Me A River

Cry me a river, Cry me a river, oh.  Cry me a river, oh.  Cry me a river.

From Forrest Gump in the classic Forrest Gump

That’s all I have to say about that.

The experience of being force fed a healthy serving of ‘rookie running back humble pie’ has left the San Diego Chargers shaking their ego’s and wondering WTF happened to them?   Prior to Sunday’s thrashing by Purple Jesus Adrian Peterson, he of 296 yards….and 3 TD’s….and unreal quickness…, the Chargers were riding high coming off three straight wins and regaining some of their 2006 swagger. After yesterday,

 ”We’re not an elite team at all,” LaDainian Tomlinson said. “We’re a team that’s in the middle of the pack and we’re struggling trying to win games.”

“I think you can try to blame it on Norv Turner, but I would love to see him go out and try to tackle somebody right now,” Shawne Merriman said.

How about blaming it on defensive coordinator Ted Cottrell?

“I would love to see Ted try to tackle somebody right now,” Merriman said. “The 11 players on the field are the ones who have to tackle. The coaches cannot go out and tackle for us.”  [LINK TO STORY]

I love it when athletes equate the rigors and the execution of their jobs with fans, owners, the media and coaches.  Yeah, Shawne, I agree.   The frickin’ last thing I want to see is Norv Turner fighting off a block and foolishly trying to arm tackle an explosive running back.  We, the fans, pay to watch you do that.  And man, did we get our money’s worth on Sunday!