Archive for the ‘Steroids’ Category

Roger Clemens used to look like a normal guy not on steroidsRoger Clemens with Mule Venom Drooling Out Along with HGH, Steroid, and Gorilla Semen

Do you feel blindsided by the news Roger Clemens has been implicated in the Mitchell Report for using steroids and HGH?   Well, then you’re probably the same person that eats Taco Bell everyday and asks themselves “why do I sweat so profusely in 45 degree weather?”   

As you’ve probably heard, The Rocket is on the dubious Mitchell list of athletes that have injected, stuffed, swallowed, and inhaled HGH and steroids.   Could this preclude Roger from admittance into The Hall?   I’m not sure.   But what I’m sure is that we’re all suckers if we didn’t recognize this one….mule like growth, throwing high-90’s into his mid-forties, archaic brow-ridge….the use of stone tools at home.

Hall of Fame voters were polled via ESPN.com….and most are still undecided (38.7%) on the Clemens HOF proposition.  It appears there’s some damning evidence and a large section of the report dedicated to His Rocketness.  Rog is denying via his attorney….

“Roger has been repeatedly tested for these substances and he has never tested positive. There has never been one shred of tangible evidence that he ever used these substances and yet he is being slandered.”

“The use of steroids in sports is a serious problem, it is wrong and it should be stopped. However, I am extremely upset that Roger’s name was in this report based on the allegations of a troubled and unreliable witness who only came up with names after being threatened with possible prison time.” [link]

Here’s a link to the actual report [link]

Below is the reason why I just called my doctor to get a prescription of this fabolous HGH stuff….

HGH is good for you




skinny_bonds.jpg gorilla.gif

In a revelation of epic proportions to which I’ve never seen – well, maybe not as big as the guy with chocolate bumping into the guy with peanut butter and coming up with that tasty cup – there is scientific proof that taking steroids makes baseballs fly further.  I know….I’m in a shock tremor too.

Depending on the ball’s trajectory, this added speed could take it into home run territory 50 percent more often, said Roger Tobin of Tufts University in Boston

Calculations show that, by putting on 10 percent more muscle mass, a batter can swing about 5 percent faster, increasing the ball’s speed by 4 percent as it leaves the bat.

“A 4 percent increase in ball speed, which can reasonably be expected from steroid use, can increase home run production by anywhere from 50 percent to 100 percent,” said Tobin, whose study will be published in an upcoming issue of the American Journal of Physics.   [Story]

In an unrelated story, swallowing straight chicken fat can cause a 5% fat gain in 99% of humans.   An MIT physicist rounded up 100 normal humans and had them ingest chicken fat for 4 weeks straight.    Amazingly, only one person did not gain any fat.   He was bulimic and his name was Sara, but the study still stands!