Sadly, PartMule is reporting tonight that New England Patriot’s quarterback Tom Brady has suffered a complete mental collapse. After recently being spotted in NYC with a Yankees cap while walking with super duper model Gisele Bundchen in the West Village, he apparently went into a severe panic attack, feared for his life, and rushed back to Boston to try and make amends to the Pats fans He even went as far as donning a Red Sox cap the next day and purposely eliminated the use of the letter “r” from his vocabulary to assimilate back into the unforgiving area.
After being rejected and pelted with bean pies, Sam Adams lager, clam chowder, and a tea tax, he made the brash decision to quit football outright, his gizzilion dollar contract, and join Gisele in NYC to become a full-time model. He was immediately signed to represent Nike’s new line of apparel for the mentally disabled, capped off by the development of a signature “I pooped my pants, but just made a putt” pose (bottom).
