Ronny Turiaf is no longer a Laker.  Yep.  I said it.  Weird?  Get over it.

I know.  Life may not go on as we know it.  Trust me.  I definitely feel it.

 ”There are emotional ties with Ronny that go beyond basketball,” Lakers general manager Mitch Kupchak said on a conference call. “I think that makes it difficult. I think organizations that draft players who turn out to be good players, it’s hard for them to let go of those players. And if you know Ronny, you know he’s a special kid.” [Story]

So there it is.  Blah, blah, blah, blah. 

Just so you know, I just took a butter knife and cut out my Dad’s heart.  Weird, you say?  Nah.  It’s a family tradition just started by the Lakers. 

David Beckham sure likes keepin’ his mug on the celeb rags.   And this week is no different…he’s back hitting the town, minus that orange thing his wife….gettin’ his freaky-deaky on.  You may remember when he got his perv on at the Laker game HERE.   Or when he stole that wax exhibit from took his wife to Disneyland HERE. 

Is there any possible way on Earth this dude is not pounding strange L.A. ass?  

English accent?  Check.  Ridiculous cash?  Check.  Professional athlete?  Check.   And a good lookin’ cat to boot?  Check. And. Mate.

Alex Rodriguez’s lovely wife Cynthia is doing her best to spend-spend-spend while A-Rod is packin’-packin’-packin’ that 49 year-old Madonna ass.  She recently jaunted to Paris with godparents and daughter, spent lavishly, and spa’ed it up on the A-Rod tab.  Damage is reportedly $100,000, according to a friend of A-Rod’s… 

There, Cynthia “had spa treatments, she went to the best restaurants,” the A-Rod friend said. “She originally was going to head to Spain, where Lenny Kravitz was touring.”

In addition to embarrassing Rodriguez and feeding false rumors that she and the rocker were an item, Cynthia gave A-Rod a taste of the gouging to come, the friend said.

“She needs four lawyers in two different states?” asked the friend. “That’s not the dream team, it’s the greed team.”

Also, the pal said, Cynthia has deliberately kept A-Rod from his daughters while tarring him as an absentee father. [story]

Yikes.  I’m stunned! Flabbergasted.  In complete shock. Can you believe it?  With the US$ exchange rate the way it is she’d go to France? Of all places?! I mean it is silly. I believe a black coffee in Paris is about $125 US.  Get an extra shot of espresso and your talking $175.  The bitch should have got more bang for her buck with a nice domestic, U.S. tourism stop like Hawaii. Whore. 

The Tour De France is happening right now.  You know, the biking sport where you ride 100 miles, drink lots of water, and inject ape sperm every night?  Come on….it takes place in the U.S. territory of France?  Got it?

Well….all kidding aside….french dogs are not the brightest creatures on the planet.  Or maybe they’re just media hounds?  Ha, ha, ha!

PartMule off on Friday, 6/27/08 

I’ve got my squad working tirelessly on content for next week.   But…little bastards…their contracts have this “recess” clause, which I don’t find amusing!   Afternoon milk and cookies, whaaat?!  My contracts team is officially fired!!

As Tom Cruise can attest, Scientology has this ability to draw out the gay side of a man.  And – case in point – John Travolta’s recent foray into cross-dressing (see Hairspray) has gotta make ya wonder even further. 

And….now, Will Smith, arguably the world’s most popular actor, goes on David Lettermen and is smacking lips with the host?!  (see 1:30 mark of the video)  And, as you know, Smith and Cruise are jummy jummy…hmm?  It’s gotta make you wonder where all the great male actors have gone!  The Rock Hudson’s and Tony Curtis’ of the acting world will never live again!  Fuckin’ L. Ron!

As is the customary rite-of-passage when offices close in Italy, employees are given exit interviews by Human Resources, paid-out unused vacation, hopefully given fat severance checks (well…good enough), and play bocce!  This rich tradition has only recently made it over to the states and has replaced office whiffle ball as the #1 close-of-office ritual.  

The reason for bocce’s rise?  It’s fairly simple.  Improved office services state-side.  The swift break-down of office cubes has enabled robust playin’ surfaces prior to the actual office close date.  AND…it’s damn fun bouncin’ that sucker around the 18th floor for those 17th floor office trolls to wonder “what the f*ck is going on up there!”

UPDATE:  Apparently, building engineers DO NOT appreciate the bocce high-toss.  Our “Around the 18th Floor” tournament was cut short this afternoon…bastards.

When it comes to John Daly, I’m surprised that this beer can/golf tee activity hasn’t been captured on film before.  Playing with Kid Rock at the Buick Open Pro-Am makes this kind of activity a no-brainer.  Literally.  These guys have no brain cells remaining.  Ok…Ok…that’s not possible.  Maybe a few are still swimmin’ around in those caves called craniums.

FYI — I tried to find the YouTube of Daly teeing-up a Marlboro red a few years back, but I’m having trouble locating it.  If I remember correct, he kind of scolded it, so he went with a Marlboro 100 on the next hole…blasted it 350, dead-center.  Very true story…you can’t make this shit up.

Props: SbB

Related on PartMule:

SEXY BEAST JOHN DALY NAKED!

GOLFERS SHOULD BE FAT PEOPLE THAT SMOKE AND DRINK HEAVILY

ROMO, TIMBERLAKE, LAUER TACKLE TORRY ADMIRABLY

The year was 1986.  The space shuttle Columbia exploded.  MLK’s birthday became a national holiday. The Chicago Bears shuffled to the Super Bowl.  The Chernobyl nuclear plant exploded.   Mike Tyson wins his first world boxing title.  And Len Bias died.

There are very few moments in your life that are stamped and engrained in your memory.  Where you were. What the day was like. Who you were with.  I so vividly remember that day on June 19th outside my Mom’s house.  My buddy running up to me, just two-days after Lenny got drafted by the hated Celtics, telling me that Lenny had died. My heart sunk. “What?!”  I couldn’t move. “Nah, man!”  I was devastated.

Reluctantly, since I’m a die-hard Laker fan, I had just come to terms with the fact that Lenny was just drafted by the bastard Celtics. It was tough to watch the hated Celtics just win the NBA title that year…AND get the 2nd pick in the NBA draft…AND get LEN BIAS!!  The Celtics went 67-15 that year…AND they got LEN BIAS!!  What a crock.  Completely unfair.  The specimen of all basketball specimens was going to the Celts?!  Fuck.

I had watched Lenny with a passion coming up with the Maryland Terrapins.  As a kid, I lived outside College Park and had gone to many games at Cole Field House…I had always been a Terp fan…and had followed the squad even from afar after moving to California - Adrian Branch, Buck Williams, Ben Coleman, Albert King…and especially Lenny Bias. 

We used to play dunk hoops in late high school and early college.  We used to try an emulate our favorite players moves, shots, walk…everything.  Who did I try and emulate?  Well…check out the 1:26 spot on the video above.  I swear, I was watchin’ that very game, that block, and you can hear the massive Lenny scream “Gimme dat!”  That’s what I remember.  That was what I “tried” to emulate (remember…were talking dunk hoops).  That’s what I miss. 

As I’ve noted repeatedly on this thing called a blog, my career as a finance director for a major publishing company is coming to an official close this Friday.  My current company was acquired by an east coast publisher and about two months ago I was asked to relocate to Boston from San Diego.  Which may have been attractive if the departing city wasn’t San Diego…AND if their senior management team were better aligned in their integration strategy then the duo in the above YouTube. 

Really.  Striking similarities.